Why I said, "YES"... to the Adventure of Life

Life is an Adventure!

Before sharing the details of my "life is an adventure" reflection, I want to acknowledge that in some ways I was born with this philosophy. From early childhood I can remember thinking that life was a magical, mystical adventure. And in my life, I have also had my share of doubts, fear, pain, despair, and even wishing I could just die. Yes, the pain in my life has been so deep that there have been times I wanted to cash in my chips and go home. "I am done. I can't find a way out of this pain. Take me home!"

But every time I have reached that depth of pain, there has been something inside of me that keeps driving me from within to remember the magic. It reminds me that living life is a gift and to find the adventure in everything. Every time I have climbed out of the deep hole and I have said YES to Life, there is more joy, more expansion and the return of the magic of life.

When faced with:

An illness, I ask myself, "What can I learn?"
An eviction process. "What is my soul calling me to do or to be?"
A trip to Denver. "How can I expand and share myself in my full essence and see the essence of everyone I meet?"

Asking the questions, opens my mind, my heart, my experience to reach into deeper places within me.


I was reminded of this idea, "Life is an Adventure," in two conversations recently. I was talking with someone who travels a lot. We were talking about getting to the airport early. And I shared that I like getting here early because it gives me more time for the adventure. When I have extra time, I am more relaxed and in the moment with what is happening. A delay in the baggage screening gives me more time to look around and see people. Waiting in line is a way to have a conversation or look into the eyes of another person and smile, instead of just pushing forward. Or I get a cup of coffee. Look out the windows to see the land outside of the airport. I watch the crews that are loading the airplanes with suitcases. I listen and engage in conversations. I have time to reflect, read a magazine, or close my eyes, feel the love in my heart and radiate that into the airport. I live life in the moment.

In the conversation, I shared how flying is another adventure. Her response, "I fly too much for it to be an adventure." And she rushed off to her next appointment, I was feeling sad for her. How sad that flying is no longer an adventure. If there had been more time I would have shared with her that everything is an adventure to me. "Enjoy the adventure" is an attitude.

If we had more time, I would have shared how several times a week I walk a mile to Trader Joe's and it is always an adventure. Who will I meet along the walk? What is blooming in the gardens? What does the sky look like today? When I enter Trader Joe's I head to the back corner for a sample cup of coffee and a sample of food. I wonder, what will the sample be today? I have my grocery list in my hand, but I always take a few minutes to look at the food that is highlighted in different areas of the store. Is there a new food that is calling to me? A bread, a fruit, or something exotic?

On the way home I continue to open my eyes and see what words pop out from a sign, a bus passing me. I feel the gratitude of the walk, the bags filled with food and the opportunity to walk to the store. I stop for a few minutes and I breathe in the beauty of the mountains, the trees, the sun. I look at everything with childlike wonder and fresh eyes.

It is so great to be alive!

This week, James Twyman sent a video called The Three Secrets of Being the Change.

Secret #1 is Just Say, YES!

If you want to Be The Change, just say, "YES!" If you want to shift things in your life, listen to your heart and say YES!


ENJOY the ADVENTURE!

Andrea Hylen is a Life Energy Coach specializing in Grief Transformation, founder of Heal My Voice, a Minister of Spiritual Peacemaking and co-author of Conscious Choices: An Evolutionary Woman's Guide to Life. Her next book: Open to Inspiration: The summer a woman discovered herself with a teenage daughter and the Jonas Brothers on a 10,000 mile road trip will be published in 2012. Her greatest desire is to inspire people to live a deeper, richer life as leaders of their own lives and to connect with people for deeper conversations.

Why I said, "YES"...a Day in Oklahoma City

Oklahoma City: An Example of Peace on Earth

Oklahoma City: An example of Peace on Earth by Andrea Hylen

(This was originally published in Beloved World- Voices of Peace Newsletter Sept 2008) 

Voices of Peace: Sept 2008

July 7, 2008 - A journal entry

Words seem so inadequate on this day.

By spending the morning and the evening at the Oklahoma City Memorial, I feel that my life has been touched in a profound way. I sit here staring at the blank page feeling the stillness, not knowing how to capture this experience in words.

A field of empty chairs represents the lives lost on April 19, 1995. My heart felt like it was bursting open when I first entered the Memorial Gateway. Tears ran down by cheeks, as I opened to the emotion. I felt  like my heart was bursting with love and gratitude. Love and gratitude? This took me by surprise. I found out later that the entrance we walked through was the Door of Hope. And that is what I felt.

Through the tragedy of loss, the powerful emotions of forgiveness, healing, hope and love have arisen here. Beginning with the people who responded with help immediately, to those who came from afar, to the words of love from children, this is an example of the hope and beauty that is arising on the planet.

 

 

The people of Oklahoma City have risen from the ashes and chosen peace. They are an example of peace on Earth as we each make conscious choices for inner peace.

An educator in the museum shared the peace programs that have been birthed here. Conflict resolution classes in schools; Cards and artwork from children, like the tile that reads, ”The world cares.” Sharing tools of peace with the children.

Every night when the sun goes down, the lights below each chair shine brighter and brighter. As the darkness spreads throughout the city, I see the moon at the highest point in the sky. There is stillness. The chairs that represent loss are transformed and emerge into brilliant candles of hope and light.

 

I see in this moment, it is in the greatest times of darkness that we become the brightest lights.

 

 

 

Why I said, "YES" ...to P.S. I LOVE YOU (grieving the loss of a spouse)

Two years after my husband died, a film came out called, "P.S. I Love You." Several people recommended the film to me about a widow whose husband leaves a series of letters and gifts for her to receive during the first year after his death. When I first heard the words and the description, I knew I couldn't watch it for several reasons.

One, during the last year of my husband's life, he was fighting to live. There were a few conversations about the future where he told me to take some of the life insurance money and go to Greece on a trip which was one of my dreams. But most of the last year of his life was spent researching treatments and watching him fight for his life. No time was spent on saying goodbye and looking at the end.

Two, I was angry. I did not want to watch a film about how two people loved each other so much. I didn't want to see this amazing husband who left his grieving widow lovely gifts and positive messages. My husband left me with paperwork and junk and a drug addicted business tenant. He left me with unanswered questions and an incomplete ending. He left the family with anger and hurt from his prescription drug induced rage and insanity. Thorns instead of roses.

Over a period of time, the film kept crossing my path. One summer evening, I was at the video store and there it was on DVD. I felt ready to see it. I had moved through the anger and was ready to forgive my husband and forgive myself. I had developed more compassion and with time I had filtered through the physical experience and the unresolved junk in our relationship. I was beginning to remember some of the amazing moments in our relationship. I rented the DVD, popped some popcorn and grabbed a box of tissues. No one else was home.

Throughout the film, I cried silent tears with occasional sobbing inhalations. Finally, the last letter arrived. I knew that these were the words my husband would have said to me. In the last few weeks of his life, he did say these words with his eyes.

"Dear Holly (replaced in my heart with Andrea), I don't have much time. I don't mean literally, I mean you're out buying ice cream and you'll be home soon. But I have a feeling this is the last letter, because there is only one thing left to tell you. It isn't to go down memory lane or make you buy a lamp, you can take care of yourself without any help from me. It's to tell you how much you move me, how you changed me. You made me a man, by loving me Holly. And for that, I am eternally grateful... literally. If you can promise me anything, promise me that whenever you're sad, or unsure, or you lose complete faith, that you'll try to see yourself through my eyes. Thank you for the honor of being my wife. I'm a man with no regrets. How lucky am I. You made my life, Holly. But I'm just one chapter in yours. There'll be more. I promise. So here it comes, the big one. Don't be afraid to fall in love again. Watch out for that signal, when life as you know it ends. P.S. I will always love you".

As I watched the film all alone in my house, a sound came out of me that I had never heard before. When the words of the letter were spoken, a howling, guttural sound of pain burst from me. It was the loudest, most primitive sound I had ever heard. It sounded like an animal in excruciating pain. Without controlling anything, the sound was released from my soul.

As I watched the end of the film and cried more tears, I knew the film had arrived at the perfect time. I was ready to heal the deeper pain and loss of my husband. I was ready to close the chapter. I was ready to fall in love with life again.

It has been several more years now. I think of my husband with feelings of love and gratitude and honor. I remember the night after ten years of marriage when he told me I was not his soul mate but his destiny. With the deep life journey we were on for over fifteen years, I would agree. The deepest most profound learning of my life happened over and over during those fifteen years. It is now my life work and my husband is my guardian angel.

I have fallen in love with myself and with life again and the next book of my life has begun.

Hurley (RIP 2005) and our son Cooper (RIP 1993)

*****

Andrea Hylen is a Life Energy Coach specializing in Grief Transformation, founder of Heal My Voice, a Minister of Spiritual Peacemaking and co-author of Conscious Choices: An Evolutionary Woman's Guide to Life. Some day she will finish writing the book: Open to Inspiration: The summer a woman discovered herself with a teenage daughter and the Jonas Brothers on a 10,000 mile road trip. Her greatest desire is to inspire people to live a deeper, richer life as leaders of their own lives and to connect with people for deeper conversations. 

Why I said, "YES" ... surrendering on the 4th of July

Fourth of July
July 4, 2008

Preparing for a summer road trip with my daughter, I played with the idea of our 4th of July location for months. I thought the ideal situation would be a hotel in St. Louis, MO within walking distance to the Arch. Westward Expansion. What a great symbol to celebrate Independence Day and the expansion of ourselves on this journey.

But, the hotels were booked. I checked the hotels regularly. I thought there would be cancellations and a room would open in downtown St. Louis. Nothing...

The idea of parking and crowds and traffic was not appealing to me.

I reviewed the hotels outside of St. Louis and finally, I chose a spot two days before our arrival. It was close to our destination for the next day.

I released the idea of going to see fireworks. It was hard to let this go. Since the death of my husband, I tried to organize a 4th of July fireworks adventure every year. When he was alive, this was his thing, along with the annual carnival in town. It was something we enjoyed as a family, but he always organized it. Since his death, I didn’t want to let Hannah down. Hannah was the youngest of my daughters, only 12 years old when her father died. I wanted to create the best childhood I could for her. Fireworks felt important.

We talked about it and Hannah said she didn’t care. I let it go. I surrendered. We checked into the hotel and both of us started reviewing pictures and writing blogs for our travel websites.

Around 8:30pm, I heard a pounding, a steady rhythm of noise. It sounded like someone banging on the wall next door. Finally, I looked out the window and saw fireworks. I called to Hannah and she looked out the window and saw them, too.

My heart felt like it was bursting . There were fireworks in four different locations right out the window of our hotel! I saw fireworks from downtown St. Louis and Cahokia Mounds across the river and two other places I couldn’t identify. I watched them for 10 minutes feeling the gratitude of the location I had chosen...or was I guided here by an inner inspiration after I surrendered?

With a full heart and appreciation for a moment of fireworks with my daughter, I walked outside to put something in the car. Right outside the front door of the hotel, I stopped and gasped. There were fireworks EVERYWHERE! I walked around the parking lot. We were on top of a hill and I saw four.. seven..twelve.. sixteen... over twenty different fireworks locations. Some were so close, I could hear the boom and crackle and pop. I could smell the burning of fireworks powder. We were in the middle of the most spectacular fireworks event I had ever seen.

I saw a couple sitting in lawn chairs with the trunk of their car open. They told me they live in the area and this is the best location in the St Louis area. The fireworks displays continued for over an hour!

I felt the gratitude of what it really meant to trust, let go and open to the inspiration to surrender. A 4th of July to remember!

Westward Expansion. Opening to the expansion and guidance from within mySelf.

Why I said, "YES" ...to ziplining in Jamaica

Saying, "YES! led me to an experience of freedom. 
 

My husband Hurley was a born explorer and adventurer. He was a skydiving jump master, a falconer and a lover of roller coasters. When he was diagnosed with cancer, he was in the process of building an ultra-light airplane. He planned on learning to fly it when it was finished. He died 10 months later with a few more adventures in the works.
 
My idea of adventure is long distance road trips, museums, nature walks, the ferris wheel, the merry-go-round and walks on the beach.  

A year after my husband's death, a friend invited me to go on a Shaklee bonus cruise to Jamaica and Cancun and the Bahamas. Betsy and I both love to travel and this was an incredible gift. When we arrived on the ship, Betsy and I were looking at the off shore excursion choices. We both jumped at the idea of going to the Mayan ruins and temples, shopping and lunch in the Bahamas and a variety of spa treatments on the days at sea. Then, Betsy found something she had always wanted to do, ziplining above the canopy of trees in Jamaica. Although not as extreme as skydiving, I could feel the palms of my hands begin to sweat and my stomach doing a flip flop. I wasn't sure if I could do this because of the heights, but with Betsy's eagerness and the thought of my deceased husband, Hurley, I decided to go for it. I felt into the, "YES!" rising up from my heart.
 

When my husband died, I didn't feel survivor's guilt for being the person who continued to live. But, I did feel a responsibility to live life fully, to add adventures to my life that he would never have the chance to do. I felt inspired to appreciate waking up and living each day.
 

In Jamaica, we were transported by bus to a location with zipline guides, and equipment. As I suited up in the harness and helmet, I felt my husband's spirit strapped in with me. Standing on the edge of the cliff, with the guide giving me words of encouragement and explaining how safe I was while connecting me to the zipline, I took a minute to close my eyes and feel the connection with my husband in my heart. "Okay, Hurley, let's go. This one's for you!"
 

I jumped off the cliff to fly over the first riverbed releasing a scream of nervousness and excitement and joy. For the next 45 minutes, we moved along the zipline landing on one platform after another. On the last zipline run, the longest one in the series of leaps, the entire line was above the tops of the trees. One of my passions is watching birds fly and soar. For the first time in my life, I felt like I was a bird flying over the tree tops.  
 

I wanted it to go on forever. My heart soared as I felt gratitude to have had the experience. Between the eagerness of Betsy and the inspiration to live life fully, I had experienced one of the most powerful, fun moments of freedom in my lifetime.   
 
Someday I will do it again for the pure joy of the adventure and the gratitude for being alive. I will not waste one moment of the precious time I have here. I will embrace it all and live a life worth celebrating. I say, "YES!" to life...