Why I said, "YES" ... and stood up for a Girl Scout named Mariam

I used to think that being a leader meant being the head of an organization or a group. And then I became a Girl Scout Leader to a Daisy troop of four year old girls. The experience led me to work as a Girl Scout leader for 10 years and that changed the way I saw leadership. I learned that leadership for me was more about finding ways of empowering others and creating an environment for them to be more of who they are.

One year in the springtime a mother of one of the girls from my troop was organizing a court of awards ceremony at a large community event. Our troop was to provide Girl Scouts from our troop for the ceremony. One of the Junior Girl Scouts named Mariam came to me and said she would like to be in the ceremony. She would like to carry a flag. When I mentioned this to the mother who was organizing the ceremony, her reaction was no because Mariam was too loud and boisterous and would never settle down for this serious ceremony. The mother said that Mariam would embarrass our troop. I disagreed with her.

She was right about Mariam's energy. Mariam had a big personality and she liked to push the limits. She had all of this electric, wild power that would burst from her and she was learning to channel it into creativity. She was a very talented artist, full of life energy. For five years I had watched her grow into her personal power. I believed that if she said she wanted to do it, that she would be able to focus on the intention of the ceremony. I knew my job was to support her in becoming more of who she was as a powerful young woman. It was not to create a perfect ceremony. I stood up for Mariam, talked to the mother about giving each of the girls a chance to develop leadership skills and convinced her this was an opportunity for Mariam to stretch herself into a new situation. The mother reluctantly agreed.

I talked with Mariam. I let her know that I believed in her and that I stood up for her. I let her know that it was up to her to show us what she could do. This was her opportunity to be a leader. I also let her know that no matter what happened, I loved her and would always love her.

On the day of the ceremony Mariam was excited and nervous. I gave her a hug, reminded her I believed in her and to enjoy the experience. I was so proud of Mariam as I watched her stand up straight and proudly carry the flag. There was a moment when Mariam's best friend, Katie, began to giggle. She was also carrying a flag in the ceremony and was walking next to Mariam. No one ever imagined that Katie would be the one to disrupt the seriousness of the ceremony. Mariam did not react. She stayed focused on honoring the flag, the ceremony and herself. She led the way and demonstrated a new leadership.

Standing up for Mariam became an example for all of us to say, "YES!" to the girls and to ourselves. We supported the girls to stretch into new opportunities, new expressions of themselves and let go of perfection.